It’s a cold overcast day. Sitting back in the trusty Coleman camp chair sipping piping hot Millstone coffee from the black tin cup with white specs and reviewing Pre-Camp 07 in my mind. One word sums it up. RAIN!!!
Yep, rain, rain and more rain.
Where have all the real campers gone. In the immortal words of Wilderness Doug’s wife Angie, “Just you two idiots again?”
Yep! Just us two idiots again. All the sudo campers and camper wannabes “Bucked” out this weekend. Camp Dork Jayson, No show! (Girlfriend’s Christmas Party) The Boy! No Show! (Spent big $ on tixs to boring Christmas Show then jilted by date) We are assuming he is in a man cave somewhere searching for what’s left of his dignity. TRod No Show again! ( No excuse, just no show. Probally afraid to leave house since his wife mounted his penis above fireplace) Camper Mike? One word. WOOOOSIEEE!!! Nuf said. Sergeant at Arms Cornholio partial show. Again pups out due to spousal Christmas party. We got to give Corny partial credit. He did come down to the camp for a few drinks after his spousal commitment was satisfied. Camp Dog Ringo. Banished from camp due to an aromatic infraction. Dogs as a general rule are somewhat smelly. Unfortunatly camp dog Ringo tried to take stink to a whole different playing field. Camp has all sorts of smells, most of them bad, but this dog smelled like he was sprayed by a skunk, killed it, crapped on it, left it on the road during August for a week and then rolled all over it. I don’t know that I have ever smelled anything so foul!!!
Being grizzled camp veterans the rain was of no concern for the two senior campers. Wilderness Doug brought some tarps, which we quickly strung up between some trees to create an overhead shelter. We cut a center post to allow the rain to run off in any direction and it was camp. Wilderness Doug brought two new devices to camp this year that were invaluable. The camp chain-saw and camp maul. As campers we have traditionally used the burn through method to make large logs smaller. This time we took large logs, split them into smaller logs and had a fire that was second to none.
Our camp design was to use the tarp to create a dry space to sit under. The fire pit was positioned approximately six feet outside the tarp area. This allowed us to sit in the comfort of our Coleman camp chairs and bask in the warmth of the fire. The weather was almost as poor as camp conditions can get. 34 degrees and wet. The only other thing that could have made it worse would have been high winds. Fortunately we had low wind and stayed dry mostly.
WD brought ribs which we smoked over the fire for between 4 and 6 hours. (No watches or cell phones allowed in camp)
During that time the campers enjoyed a combination of cocktails. Mass quantities of Gin, Whiskey, and Beer, Oh My! The ribs turned out chewy but very tasty. We had rice and gravy as side dishes. Snacks consisted of peanuts in shell, swagger and socialbles. We also cooked up a marinated pork loin, but it was uneaten. Breakfast consisted of traditional bacon eggs and tortillas. Both Captn Rob and Wilderness Doug developed some sort of ailment in the morning. We both experienced pounding headaches with a somewhat sensitive stomach. It musta been something we ate!
Over all it was a good camp. We held the usual camp councel, attempted to save the world, explored ways to take over the world once it was saved, planned winter camp 08, and argued. I’ll tell you more about that in my next post.
Till then…. Good Camping.Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
Demi Moore, Taxes, World Oil Demand, National Health Care, Mike Huckabee, Sports, George Bush, Conservatives, Liberals, Boat Drinks, War, World Domination…
Happy Pre-camp eve. I hope all you little campers have stuffed your stockings… deep in your back pack, dug out last years camp cookware, cleaned most of the crust off, and checked the sleeping bag for little woodland critters. Cause its Pre-Camp Eve!!!
Todays headline is a little different than most WCQ headlines. The reason is that I thought I would highlight some of the possible topics up for discussion around the campfire.
Both Senior Campers have discussed an addition to the camp that is a sensitive subject. Sensitive because of two reasons.
1. It is a politically incorrect topic.
2. It is a maritally incorrect topic.
The topic I refer to is the camp squaw. We have always felt that having a camp squaw would be a great addition to the camp. We understand that term “camp squaw” can have a bad connotation in our politicly correct times, but we mean only to pay tribute to the great westerns we all grew up with. In the old westerns, the camp squaw was a revered member of the camp. Providing food for the campers and keeping their male egos in check, all the while showing her intellectual superiority over all the men. In this light we feel a camp squaw would be a great addition to camp. Problem #2. The Senior Campers wives read the WCQ and while not willing to step up and volunteer for camp squaw duties, would still frown on the addition of an actual camp squaw. Now my beautiful, charming, intelligent, and loving bride is the forgiving type, Wilderness Doug’s is not. I think I mentioned that WD’s wife Angie is evil. She is not the type of gal to kick him to the curb or out if she becomes displeased with him. She is more of the type to stay closed by and torture him for the rest of his sorry miserable life until he is embraced by the peace that death will bring. This being said the senior campers are going to debate the addition of a fantasy camp squaw. I will start the nomination with two who I feel would look good in buckskin. Young Demi Moore Very Young Cher
Based on the above pictures, I think Demi Moore is a hands down winner. Who else should be nominated for buckskin?
There is a big disagreement on this one in camp. Captn Rob is a believer in the “Fair Tax” Wilderness Doug is not. We will discuss this more fully at camp.
World Oil Demand and Supply
This topic plays to Wilderness Doug’s strength as he works in the oil industry. The god Captn has uncoverd information that indicates that oil is a renewable resource. I can already feel the disdain that will be piled on me for this one!
National Health Care.
Does anyone really have a clue on this one? I feel government needs to stay out of it. WD feels government is the answer. Bla, Bla, Bla…
Mike Huckabee See Taxes
George Bush, war, and all the rest, I will report on on Monday. Have a good weekend. I’ll check in on Monday!Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )
Wilderness Doug is a big fan of Cabela’s on line sporting good store. So much so that he receives the coveted leather catalogue each year. The very impressive camp cot “Che Lemond” was purchased from Cabela’s. I will attempt to get WD to do a product review of “Che Lemond” in a later post. In the mean time leading up to PRE-CAMP 2007 I thought it would be a good idea to add Cabela’s to the blog roll. Captn Rob is not a fan of Cabela’s for two reasons. I bought some lures from them a few years back and much to my dismay, I started receiving emails from them three or four times a week. Not cool! The Captn hunts when he is hungry. When I want something, I’ll track you down. I don’t need some little squirrel pecking me on the foot every couple of days shouting “eat me Captn Rob eat me” But that is neither here nor there. Wilderness Doug has had great results from Cabela’s. The second reason I have for not being a fan is their name is hard to type. It doesn’t roll off the fingers as easily as say Spadout.com. In keeping with Camp law, when there is a dispute between senior campers, go with both. So both will now grace the blog roll as preferred camp suppliers.
This has nothing to do with the above comments or content, but wordpress has added a cool thing that lets me strike out something stupid I may have written.
This will come in really handy for me.