Captn Rob turns to the dark side… Starbucks!

Posted on October 30, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , |

Good morning campers. I decided it might be time to start a pre winter work out routine today. This thought in itself is somewhat against winter camps primary philosophy of doing as little physical labor as necessary. All of us put on a little extra weight for insulation during the winter season. This usually involves letting out the belt an extra notch or going to the XXL sweat shirt, but when my sleeping bag started to feel snug, I thought it might be time to start exercising. So today I rolled out of the sleeping bag forgoing my normal cup of Folgers Coffee and went straight to the YMCA.

I know no body really cares about my work out at the Y, but that’s not what this post is about. What this post is about in my journey this morning. I was a stranger in a foreign land. I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid Starbucks. I’m old enough to remember when Starbucks first came to town. At that time we called them Pretentious Yuppie %#sholes. And they were the only ones that visited Starbucks. A buddy of mine is a Starbucks fan and I have met him there for coffee three or four times over the years. Since I don’t speak Starbuck I always let him order for me. I hate to admit it but the coffee is good. I recently had a business meeting at Starbucks and managed to order the coffee my friend always orders and did not screw the order up. Today for some unknown reason, as I drove by the fifth Starbucks shoppe, I decided to stop in for a cup of coffee. All by myself!

I lumbered into the Starbucks store fresh from my workout at the Y. Sweaty, smelly, hair all crazy looking dressed in my old sweat pants and a sweat shirt with some construction company logo on it (because I got it for free). The pull string around the hood is pulled half out and only accessible from one side. As the door closed behind me all eyes turned to see the new visitor into their domain. I felt like the a mangy mutt at the Mayfair Dog Show. All of the beautiful people looking like they had nothing else to do or anywhere else to be. The thing I have never got about Starbucks is the concept of going someplace where it is expected that you will stand in line and wait for your coffee. I am more of the I want, what I want, when I want it and I WANT IT NOW! Kind of guy. So I lumbered over to the counter where a adorable young girl smiled at me and asked me for my order. I assume that is what she said, so I spoke slowly with large hand gestures and loudly said “I DON’T SPEAK STARBUCKS. MAY I HAVE A LARGE WHITE COFEEEEE MOCCA WITH A SQUIRT OF VANILLA?” She seemed to understand me. I grunted and pointed at what looked like a breakfast burrito as well. She pointed for me to step back from the counter where as a good camper I set back and observed my environment. As a looked around strange thoughts entered my mind. Hmm, Theres a book I’ll never read… Bruce Springstein has a new CD… Wow Genesis has a CD out… I didn’t know those guys were still alive… Phill Collins would make a great Troll… ITunes sells virtual CD’s on real plastic… I thought tree huggers were against wasting plastic…. If I listen carefully, I actually am starting to understand what these people are saying… Oh someone called my name… My white mocha coffee with a pump of vanilla is ready. I find out my breakfast burrito is actually ham, egg, cheese, and avocado on a whole wheat wrap. All of this for just under $10.00 As I lumber out, I to think to myself ” It’s kind of expensive, but this place might catch on after all.”


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    There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and we are stomping all over it.


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