Wilderness Doug and the woe of camper Buck…

Posted on November 28, 2007. Filed under: Wilderness Doug's Wisdom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

Senior camper Wilderness Doug and yours truly have been discussing the status of our current crop of rookies. It has come to my attention that Camp Dork/Former first year man JaysonCamp Dork

has started doing what we senior campers call “The Waffle”. As grizzled veterans of camping in the winter, we have seen it all before. Some of you sissies might call this an intervention, but we campers just call it, setting some panty waist straight.

I am going to reprint for you some earlier comments between Wilderness Doug and the good Captn. These comments will explain much.

Wilderness Doug says….
Cap,

Yesterday I was thinking about this camp as it rained all morning. Excellent timing. I think of a couple of innovations that came from this one.
1. Rain fly or tarp is always on the pack list, even if it is below zero. Even if it does not rain the tarp can still be used to wrap frozen corpes for the drag out at the end of camp.
2. Rubber boots are far superior than leather under these conditions.
3. If you are a rookie or low man, you should always make sure that senior camper booze is available.

About 10 days to pre-camp. Remember this is a self forage camp. Any status on Rookie Jason? Any patch ideas? Right now I just have the 2 made camper patches from 07′.

WD
Wilderness Doug – November 27, 2007 at 9:48 am

Captn Rob responds…

Wilderness Doug,

I have sad news to report. Camp Dork/ Former first year man Jayson may be turning to the “BUCKSIDE” I know what your thinking…. I thought we had eradicated this menace to campers years ago in a land far far away. But it has returned.

Camp Dork/Former first year man Jayson has started the waffle. He is bringing up some lame excuse about “the girlfriends” company Christmas party. Isn’t this how we lost Buck? First it was Buck giving up on the long rambling tirades about “The Greatest Company Ever” Cummings! Then he missed one pre-camp. Soon he missed a Winter Camp Actual. Busted in rank and eventually lost entirely.

It’s too difficult for the Captn to recount the tragedy of Buck. If you have it in you Wilderness Doug… Would you recount for Camp Dork/Former first year man Jayson the sad tale of Buck when he followed “the girlfriend” out of state?

Captn Rob – November 27, 2007 at 12:51 pm

Wilderness Doug responds with this wisdom…

Cap,

The Buckwheat saga is a sad one and should be a lesson to all campers.

The tale begins with Buck at the ripe old age of 30 finally getting a girlfriend. The fact it took this long is not surprising if you know Buck. The gal was at least 15 years older than Buck and he felt that true love had finally found a way into his backpack. After a few years his dreamboat decided she was going to move to Texas. Buck, who had a good job with “The worlds greatest company” decided he would go with her. He quits the job and moves to Texas and buys a house. Once down there she decides she wants to go to school to get a teaching degree. Buck cashs out his 401K and retirement and funds the education. (You see where this is going). Once the degree is in hand she decides that maybe Buck isn’t the one for her. She dumps Buck and disappears. Buck grovels to her parents to try and get her back but to no avail. Broken and beaten, Buck returns home and is destin to live a miserable lonely life.

So, young camper Jayson, let this be a lesson. Life will throw many twists and turns at you. Camp is the one steady, consistant bedrock you can count on. Unless your said girlfriend comes with a chain of family liquior stores, a good string of bird dogs, telescoping legs, a nice boat, is mute, looks good in buckskin, and a couple of good ponds then take heed. If she does come with all the above……does she have a sister?

WD

Wilderness Doug – November 28, 2007 at 9:59 am

Camp Dork/ Former first year man Jayson, Take heed of the wisdom of Wilderness Doug. I will show you the last picture we had of camper Buck when he returned a battered and broken 36 year old.images.jpeg

Don’t let Buck happen to you!

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    There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and we are stomping all over it.

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