Captn Rob Rant’s

The Captn Has Moved the Building!

Posted on January 4, 2008. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's, General Posts |

Greetings Campers,   

Pull up your trusty Coleman camp chair and enjoy a piping hot cup of Millstone coffee. My multitude of reader has probably wondered why the good Captn has been negligent lately in his posts.

Never fear little campers, nothing has changed…

I still hate Tom Brady! The big weasely, sissyfied goat loving, harbinger of the end of the world antichrist who just had a perfect season,Tom Brady. Tom Brady who most certainly sold his soul to the Devil for this perfect season. The only good thing about the Pats perfect season is it will be so much more sweet, when Payton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts crush them at their home field and go on to win the Superbowl. (Cause thats how the Devil Rolls!)

The good Captn still dislikes stupid people and feels they should all be shipped to the Republic of North Dakota.

The Captn still wants the Fair Tax passed, so he is rooting for Mike Huckabee.

The Captn still feels the snowmen hunters are on to something. (Were just not sure what!)

Spadout.com, coleman.com, and cabelas.com are still the official places to buy camping goods.

Angie is NOT Evil!

Scott Adams is an evil genius!

Camping in the winter is a good thing.

Nope I still believe in all those things.The only thing that has changed is that the trusty Camp Dork Jayson has “acquired” a Dell server for the sole dedicated use of The Winter Campers Quarterly. What this means to all of you multitudes of reader, is that we will now be located at a new web address. In short WE HAVE MOVED TO www.wintercampersquarterly.com.

Visit us at our new address for the usual incoherent rantings!

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I hate Monday’s

Posted on December 17, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers….

I hate Mondays. Does anyone else hate them as much as I do? The only thing to look forward to is Monday Night Football. After that we are screwed for the rest of the week.

I think part of the reason the good Captn hates Mondays is the ever unpopular sales meeting. The Captn is back in sales. I used to be a sales manager, but the weight of the gienormus target on my back was getting heavy. Now I am back in the roll of simple sales person. In my industry we have Monday morning sales meetings. It was bad enough when I ran the meetings, but now it is 10 times worse when I have to attend them. I would like to think that my meetings were entertaining and enlightening, but I think that would be just a little self delusional. Almost all meetings are crap. In todays environment of technology, everything… every last bit of information provided in a meeting can be done online or via email. No need for everyone to sit together. As some wise man somewhere once said, “None of us is as dumb as all of us!” Bahhhh… Arggggeehei…. @#$&#$!!!!

Whew. Glad I got that off my chest.

Well enough of my grumbling. Lets talk football.

In my little brain, I have deluded myself with a wish that the Evil New England Patriots go undefeated in regular season. Then get bumped off in the playoffs and not make it to the Superbowl. I think that could be the only thing sweeter than having someone like Miami break their winning streak (Or Lil Tommys leg).

Enjoy!

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I love the snow

Posted on December 15, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

I love it when it snows. Its great. Just by driving around you can spot lots of RND candidates. They come in two forms. The ones that are creeping around slowly on the roads. These are the ones that don’t understand the relationship between motion and mass. They somehow believe that by slowly creeping up a hill with their car the tires will magically grab on slick pavement. When everybody knows that you need a certain amount of momentum to get up the hill. This momentum is usually stolen by one of the afore mentioned RND candidates who are in the way.

snow2007.jpg

The second form of RND candidate also doesn’t understand the relationship between motion and mass. These feel that a big SUV can drive through anything. As I am constantly telling my daughter… “These are four wheel drive, not four wheel stop.” I love watching those guys take their vehicle places where when they become stuck, no one can reach them. It makes me laugh.

Snow is great. The added risk of a crash or freezing always adds zest to a normal dull commute to work. Enjoy the snow. Here is something from the Snowmen Hunters that should perk up your day.

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The 10 Days of Hatebradyday

Posted on December 10, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

In honor of the holiday spirit I composed this little ditty. It sounds surprisingly like a lot like the song the 12 days of Christmas. I’m sure its just a coincidence.

On the first day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… A torn carti-lage in his left knee. 

On the second day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he … Two broken fingers, and A torn carti-lage in his left knee.

On the third day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… Three bruised ribs, Two broken fingers, and A Torn carti-lage in his left knee.

On the fourth day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… Four Blitzing Linebackers. Three bruised ribs, Two broken fingers, and A Torn carti-lage in his left knee.

On the fifth day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… A FIVE YARD PENNNNALTYYYYYY!!! Four Blitzing Linebackers, Three bruised ribs, two broken fingers, and A Torn carti-lage in his left knee.

On the sixth day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… Six interceptions, A FIVE YARD PENNNALTYYYYYY!!! Four Blitzing Linebackers, Three bruised ribs, two broken fingers, and A Torn carti-lage in his left knee.

On the seventh day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… Seven deflected footballs, Six interceptions, A FIVE YARD PENNNALTYYYYYY!!! Four Blitzing Linebackers, Three bruised ribs, Two broken fingers, and A Torn carti-lage in his left knee.

On the eighth day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… Eight paternity lawsuits, Seven deflected footballs, six interceptions, A FIVE YARD PENNNALTYYYYYY!!! Four Blitzing Linebackers, Three Bruised ribs, Two broken fingers, and A Torn Carti-lage in his left knee.

On the ninth day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… Nine goats for dating, Eight paternity lawsuits, Seven deflected footballs, Six interceptions, A FIVE YARD PENNNALTYYYYYY!!! Four Blitzing Linebackers, Three bruised ribs, Two broken fingers, and A Torn carti-lage in his left knee.

On the tenth day of Hatebradyday my true love gave to he… TEN yards for holding, Nine goats for dating, Eight paternity lawsuits, seven deflected footballs, Six interceptions, A FIVE YARD PENNNALTYYYYY!!!!! Four Blitzing Linebackers, Three bruised ribs, Two broken fingers, AND A TORN CARTI-LAGE IN HIS LEFT KNEE!!!!

Happy Hatebradyday Everyone!

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Tom Brady, Satan’s rump rider escapes again!

Posted on December 4, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's, General Posts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

Just sitting here in my trusty Coleman camp chair, sipping some Millstone coffee, and wondering…Why Lord Why!!! You can’t really let the little weasel, his cheating coach and assorted other miscreants go undefeated!!!852383029_9eeb4314d4.jpgYes the hated New England Patriots sneaked by the Ravens.

Ray Lewis where were you last night? We need a slobbering junk yard dog to take a bite of of the evil Tom Brady.

Hopeful the Steelers can come through!

Well here are a few links to other like minded Brady haters. This first one is weak, but it has a great picture of Jessica Simpson.

Stop back to ihatetombrady.com Always funny. I also swiped borrowed this next visual off the site. As a camper the whole ethics of what “is, is” and when something “is” someone else’s “is” somewhat vague. So I fell back to Camp Law #1. So in the event that the “borrowing” of this image is inappropriate, please visit ihatetomebrady.com and buy some merchandise when it becomes available.coffee.jpgI thought this image is so appropriate for Winter Campers.

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Hey Wilderness Doug…

Posted on November 27, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

When you are a winter camper, sometimes you do things just for your own amusement. Today is one of those times.

This post is mainly for the campers, but some of you may find the video amusing as well.

Wilderness Doug,I had this video sent to me from an anonymous source at Camp Site 1. I believe it is a response to your comments on camper Corny’s little war on WMD’s. (See comments on the “Can you hate Tom Brady too much” post) It looks as though Corny’s war is getting some traction. Some celebrity backers are coming to his defense. See what you think?

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Can you hate Tom Brady too much?

Posted on November 21, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

The good Captn is back in his trusty Coleman camp chair relaxing by a fire. I have a piping hot cup of Millstone Chocolate Velvet coffee in my black tin cup with white specs. (Yea THATS right Folgers. Millstone!) A fire is crackling, wind is blowing, my beers are cold and frosty, without the need of ice. Oh Yea, camping in the winter.

I have been having a good time picking on Tom Brady recently. Like everything else the good Captn does, I pick things to do that are fun and easy. But it made me start to think….. Hmmm. Hmmmm…. Oh sorry, it’s hard for the Captn to think and write at the same time. I guess that explains a lot about my writing. Anyway, who else is out there that we can hate? Tom Brady has some haters because of his wearing of a New York Yankees cap. I’m OK with someone hating him for that. But
didn’t Rudy Giuliany do something similar? Should we hate him as much as the evil goat hugging Tom Brady? I like Rudy and hope he becomes our next president, so I hope thats not all it takes to turn someone from being… say a Peyton Manning into a Tom Brady.

I also worry that if I spend so much time picking on Satin’s boy toy, I run the risk of being labeled as narrow minded. I mean look at al the other boneheads out there, Michael Vic, Barry Bonds, A-Rod, Curt Schilling,Tony Romo, Jeff Gordon. I don’t know. It is so hard to choose.

I have a hypothetical question for the camp. If you had to say unkind things about someone and, something like a restraining order was keeping you from picking on Tom Brad, who would you choose to pick on?

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I hate Tom Brady ll

Posted on November 20, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

Your dear ol Capn Rob was out in the field yesterday. Can no one stop the evil Patriots? What a can of whoop a#@ they put on the Bills. It looked like they were playing a girls touch football team that someone had put in pads. Running up the score again!!! Brady running up his stats, again!!!! Randy Moss, AGAIN!!!!! Arrrggh!!!!!

Is Pittsburgh our only hope to stop these jokers? I hope not.

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Words mean things.

Posted on November 18, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

During camp councils we have open debates about many topics. Saving the world, environment, our government, etc… We sometimes debate the nagging issues of the day, such as what to do with stupid people. What goes best with chili, beer or gin? Or just about anything else that leaps to the top of our pointy little heads. Well today I have found an enlightening post about words and their meanings. I would like to especially direct Wilderness Doug to this article as he likes to fully research any topic we discuss in camp council. We may want to consider the writers of this post as potential honorary campers as well.What say you campers???
This comes to us from cracked.com. We may consider adding them to the blog roll.
Nine words that don’t mean what you think

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Whose looking for Tazer Parties?

Posted on November 15, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , |

Greetings Campers,Captn Rob is wondering……… Why are so many of you little heathens looking for Tazer parties? The top three search engine terms used for the Winter Campers Quarterly today are… #1. “tazers And party”. I don’t even want to know what you people are searching for. Why is the “and” capitalized? #2. “tazer parties” Ok at least this one you may be looking for an article that mentions tazer parties. #3. “Tazer Parties” Someone is looking for a person named Tazer Parties???? Must be a French guy.Captn Rob is just thankful none of you have signed up for PRE-CAMP 07

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    There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and we are stomping all over it.

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