Demi Moore, Taxes, World Oil Demand, National Health Care, Mike Huckabee, Sports, George Bush, Conservatives, Liberals, Boat Drinks, War, World Domination…

Posted on December 7, 2007. Filed under: Camping, General Posts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

Happy Pre-camp eve. I hope all you little campers have stuffed your stockings… deep in your back pack, dug out last years camp cookware, cleaned most of the crust off, and checked the sleeping bag for little woodland critters. Cause its Pre-Camp Eve!!!

Todays headline is a little different than most WCQ headlines. The reason is that I thought I would highlight some of the possible topics up for discussion around the campfire.

Both Senior Campers have discussed an addition to the camp that is a sensitive subject. Sensitive because of two reasons.
1. It is a politically incorrect topic.
2. It is a maritally incorrect topic.
The topic I refer to is the camp squaw. We have always felt that having a camp squaw would be a great addition to the camp. We understand that term “camp squaw” can have a bad connotation in our politicly correct times, but we mean only to pay tribute to the great westerns we all grew up with. In the old westerns, the camp squaw was a revered member of the camp. Providing food for the campers and keeping their male egos in check, all the while showing her intellectual superiority over all the men. In this light we feel a camp squaw would be a great addition to camp. Problem #2. The Senior Campers wives read the WCQ and while not willing to step up and volunteer for camp squaw duties, would still frown on the addition of an actual camp squaw. Now my beautiful, charming, intelligent, and loving bride is the forgiving type, Wilderness Doug’s is not. I think I mentioned that WD’s wife Angie is evil. She is not the type of gal to kick him to the curb or out if she becomes displeased with him. She is more of the type to stay closed by and torture him for the rest of his sorry miserable life until he is embraced by the peace that death will bring. This being said the senior campers are going to debate the addition of a fantasy camp squaw. I will start the nomination with two who I feel would look good in buckskin. Young Demi Moore demi_moore.jpg Very Young Cher cher.jpg

Based on the above pictures, I think Demi Moore is a hands down winner. Who else should be nominated for buckskin?

Taxes

There is a big disagreement on this one in camp. Captn Rob is a believer in the “Fair Tax” Wilderness Doug is not. We will discuss this more fully at camp.

World Oil Demand and Supply

This topic plays to Wilderness Doug’s strength as he works in the oil industry. The god Captn has uncoverd information that indicates that oil is a renewable resource. I can already feel the disdain that will be piled on me for this one!

National Health Care.

Does anyone really have a clue on this one? I feel government needs to stay out of it. WD feels government is the answer. Bla, Bla, Bla…

Mike Huckabee See Taxes

Sports Tom Brady, New England Patriots, and why we hate them. Indianapolis Colts, Chicago Bears, and why we love them and are disappointed by them.

George Bush, war, and all the rest, I will report on on Monday. Have a good weekend. I’ll check in on Monday!

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Indianapolis Colts vs Kansas City Chiefs

Posted on November 18, 2007. Filed under: General Posts | Tags: , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

Captn Rob is going to miss the Colts game today. I’ll be busy in the field. So I thought before I go I would jot down my thoughts about todays game.

The beat up Indianapolis Colts face the battered Kansas City Chiefs today. I for one am hoping for a Colts victory. The Colts find themselves in more of a strategic quandary than a Kansas City. The Colts know they have the talent and discipline to beat a team of KC’s quality, but do they risk bringing back players not fully recovered from injuries to do so? I think Coach Dungy will continue to try and nurse the battered Colts along as far as he can so that we will be healthy and ready to play in the playoffs. I have already heard and read people who think we should coast the rest of the season, let the evil Patriots have another moment in the sun, and save our talent for next year. I don’t think so!!!!

John Oehser has writen a good read at Colts.com spelling out todays match up between The Indianapolis Colts and Kansas City Chiefs.
It is titled Another Tough Test Check it out its good.

Good Luck to the Colts, and lets all hope for a New England defeat!!!

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Battered Colts Beaten by Chastised Chargers

Posted on November 12, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

The ol Captn is so sad for the second week in a row. The World Champion Indianapolis Colts lost a hard one to the Chargers. The battered Colts were so low on personnel, they had to recruit a fat guy from the stands to play on the offensive line. Adam Venitari, Mr. Clutch, missed two key kicks. The first kick was a tough one at the end of the first half. The second one was a short chip that flew off to the right. I sure Mike Vanderjack is polishing up his resume. Don’t bother Mike, we will be keeping Mr. Clutch.

I had a few snide remarks for reader Leann, but I had to swallow them along with a heaping helping of crow.

Sometimes it’s not good to be Captn Rob

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The World Hates Tom Brady!

Posted on November 10, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , |

Greetings Camper,

Wow, what a big day it is. It has been a record day of visitors to the Winter Campers Quarterly. Overwhelmingly the visitors seem to support the good Captn’s belief that Tom Brady has sold his sole to the devil. There is nothing like talking unkindly about someone to bring out the best in a camper. That being said, I have an announcement….

One of our readers has been given a distinguished award today. Reader gwen submitted a comment today that brought up two facts I can’t find anyway to argue with.

Fact 1. “You are a funny funny man”
Fact 2. The Indianapolis Colts will win the Superbowl again this year!

Because gwen has shown she is a person of uncommonly good taste and character, as well as a deep thinker and avid Colts fan. I have held an emergency camp council meeting. Wilderness Doug was unavailable for comment and the other campers votes don’t count. The vote was unanimous! The senior council of Winter Campers has decided to award gwen the distinguished honor of Honorary Winter Camper.

Congratulations gwen! Go forth and use your new authority as an honorary winter camper wisely.

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The Beer Diet

Posted on November 8, 2007. Filed under: General Posts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Greetings Campers,

Last week after saying some unkind things about the New England Patriots and Tom Brady, I saw a huge spike in my readership. Try as I might, my readership is steadily dwindling to pre Indianapolis Colts will beat New England Patriots post levels. Well the good Captn can’t stand for that to happen. So I have gone off to YouTube to find something I saw on Neal Boortz redneck scrapbook last week. I know I run risk of chasing away all my advertisers, but it’s a risk I am willing to take.

This ones for you Corney. You have always argued that drinking beer was good for you. I now bring you scientific proof. I found it on the internet after all, it must be true. So pull up your camp Coleman camp chair purchased at Spadout.com and take a sip of piping hot Folgers coffee and enjoy, The amazing beer diet.

Stop back tomorrow and I will also say some unkind things about Tom Brady!!!!

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Indianpolis Colts will Beat New England Patriots

Posted on November 2, 2007. Filed under: Captn Rob Rant's | Tags: , , , , , |

Greetings rabid sports fan!

I’m Captn Rob, your charming and delightful blogger. I am going to use the power of the internet to talk up the Indianapolis Colts this weekend. I am also going to use that same power to say mean and awful things about the New England Patriots. Don’t bother trying to find me, I’m deep in the woods camouflaged so well that only the most grizzled experienced winter camper will be able to find me. So, rabid sports fan, you only have to ask yourself this one thing. How can I stop this evil menace to my beloved ____________ ?(Fill in your team name)

Well rabid sports fan, Captn Rob has the answer. Send me money! Thats right send me money!!! For $1,000.00 I will write something nice about your favorite player or team. Send me $1,500.00 and I will say something mean about your least favorite sports team or player.

As an added bonus for you affluent rabid sports fan, I’m going to make available something none of your friends or enemies can have. My blog. Yes thats right! You can buy my blog to keep the affluent rabid sports fan who likes your opponent from buying it. Remember it’s not about getting what you want, it’s about keeping them from getting something they want. Bidding starts at $500,000.00 right now and will continue until kickoff on Sunday.

All bids for The Winter Campers Quarterly can be submitted to robwagoner877@netscape.net.
All requests for glowing remarks or mean spirited commentary can be directed to the same email address.

For all of you rabid sports fans whose boxers are in a bunch or panties are in a pinch (depending on your gender or preference) and feel offended and cheated by your visit to my site, please complain about it to between 10 and 15 of your closest friends. If you want to waste five or ten minutes of an enemies life send them to my site also.

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Captn Rob turns Capitalist

Posted on November 2, 2007. Filed under: General Posts | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Captn Rob turns capitalist after coming in from the cold! That’s what tomorrows head line in the Wall Street Journal will say. Unknown blogger soars to unprecedented readership after bold move!, will scream the headline of the Washington Post. How am I going to do that you ask. Well pull up a camp stool to the fire, pour yourself a piping hot cup of Mountain Grown Folgers coffee and I will tell you my evil plan.

After watching Tiki Barber on MSNBC’s news show Morning Joe, talking about this weekends game between the Indianapolis Colts and The New England Patriots. I thought here is my chance to increase my readership. My thought process went something like this:

Everybody is talking about this.
Sports fans are passionate.
Sports fans passion makes them spend large amounts of money in illogical ways.
Sports fans (some of them) make and spend lots of money.
Sports fans are mostly men drunk with; A. Alcohol, B. Power, C. Lust, D. Greed, E. Some of the preceding, F. All of these

In a word, Avid sports fans are….STUPID. (See my earlier post Stupid People II.)

So how do I capitalize on these stupid people? I am going to try to draw them to my site and upset them. I have always been told over the years that a satisfied customer will tell two or three people about your goods or service, but a dissatisfied customer will tell 10 to 15 people about their experience with your goods or service. I think that if I am able to upset all of the people coming to my site today, I could be up to between 15 and 30 readers by next week.

So come back later today to see how its going.

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    There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and we are stomping all over it.

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